Being Yourself

Path Of Creator

Being Yourself In Relation To The Path Of Creator

To simplify the journey of being oneself, one can simply focus on transforming their suffering states of mind. This is because as long as one is addressing the negative states of the mind, one is addressing the states of Self-Rejection that are preventing one from being comfortable with who they are. 

If one tries to realize oneself without addressing the suffering states of the mind, one can end up dwelling on the questions of that concerns one’s appearance and actions such as, “How should I act all the time?” “Am I being the real me?” “What should I stop doing in life?” “What should I do more of?” When one's focus falls on addressing the appearance of The Self, one can forget to address the state of The Self.  

Now, let us explore the journey of transforming the states of suffering. 

Fears

Although working on any form of suffering states of mind—i.e. anger, guilt, jealousy, impatience, and so forth—can help one to progress on the journey of learning to be oneself, we will just use fears here as an example as it may be easier for one to understand how working on one’s fears can help one to release the confusion about who they are. 

We all have fears, especially the fear of being rejected by others. We are all somewhat aware of this fear as we live in a world where social interactions are the norm, so, we would most likely experience the fear of judgement more than others. 

The fears of being rejected by others are created through the attachment to the beliefs of “what I should be.”  

I.e.

“What I should be to be successful.”

“What I should be to be loved.”

“What I should be to be fulfilled and happy.”

And so forth.

As soon as one becomes attached to a particular idea of what one should be, one would automatically gain the fear of embodying the opposite of that idea.

For instance, if one becomes attached to the idea that one must be surrounded by people all the time to be fulfilled, then the fear of being abandoned would come into existence.

For instance, if one becomes attached to the idea that one is only worthy of love when one is successful, then the fear of failing would come into existence. 

These fears become a justification for the attachment when in reality it’s simply the result of the attachment to a particular idea of what one should be. That is why some fears don't really make sense until one looks at the ideas that one has become attached to. 

And if one looks within, one will be able to discover the many ideas about The Self that one has become attached to. 

It can be easy to become attached to certain ideas when we live in a judgemental world. It is a judgemental world we live in because it’s a world where all sorts of ideas about The Self have been created. And like before, as soon as there are ideas of what an Acceptable Self is, the ideas of an Unacceptable Self will automatically be suggested. 

So, the world can sometimes feel like a stage where one is constantly judged for their “acceptability”. One can feel as if there is a gravitational force supported by the majority as to what kind of a person one should be and not be, and that a misstep of doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing can lead to judgement and punishment. 

When this fear becomes normalized, one can start to subconsciously hide their uniqueness just to conform to the ideas of the majority. 

The fears of being rejected can make one constantly dwell in the thoughts as to whether their current behaviour is acceptable or unacceptable. When these sorts of questions arise, it’s an indication that one has become uncomfortable with simply being themselves. 

“Should I tell people how I really feel?”

“Should I disagree with that person?”

“Will people judge me if I revealed to everyone my ideas?”

“Will people criticize me if I do something different?”

Now, this is not to say that social conformity is good or bad.

Again, the focus of the journey is to reach a state of mind where one can be comfortable with who they are, whether they choose to conform to social standards or not to. What one chooses to do on the “outside” will always be one’s choice. The goal is to reach a state of Self-Acceptance on the inside.

And there are many catalysts that one can use to accelerate that journey, which can be found on this website.

For instance: 

Catalyst - Boundaries

Catalyst – Disagreement

Catalyst – Honesty

Catalyst - Guilt

Realize that as long as one carries the intention to accept oneself in all moments, one will make great progress. The key to progress will always be to develop Self-Acceptance.

One thing that one can practice is that whenever one feels uncomfortable in expressing themselves, or find themselves questioned as to how to be, one can simply express those parts of themselves that they fear being rejected. Doing this will create opportunities for one to develop greater acceptance of those parts that one has been rejecting. 

And of course, as one tries to develop Self-Acceptance, the mind will constantly barge in with the fears as to why one should not accept and reveal those “undesirable” parts of The Self. That is why the practice of meditation will be so ever helpful as it will help one to think less and experience more, which will help one to realize just how suffering and unnecessary it is to hold onto these fearful ideas. 

The more one overcomes the barriers of the mind and develops Self-Acceptance, the more one will realize that each part of The Self is worthy of love and expression in life. 

For instance, it’s ok for one to be brutally honest. And at the same time, it’s ok for one to be indirect with one’s opinions. One will gradually realize that The Self can be expressed in many ways in different situations—that there is a place and time for each part of The Self to be expressed.

Realize that each part of The Self if worthy of love, even if those are the parts that the “majority” of people in society deem unacceptable and evil. Like a knife, it can be used for killing someone or to make food. However, if one continues to judge and reject the knife negatively, when the time comes for one needs to prepare food, one will find great difficulties in doing so without a knife. Likewise, if one continues to reject parts of The Self, then one would be only limiting oneself from all the possible tools that one can use to express The Self.    

The biggest challenge on this journey will mostly come from our minds. Our minds will constantly convince us that others will judge us if we do certain things. Our minds will constantly make us doubt whether we are on the right track. So, it’s important on this journey to be grounded and not be swayed by the mind or the opinions(whether they are real or imagined), of the people around you. 

That is why the practice of meditation and yoga will be greatly helpful. They will help you to focus your attention on the centre of your being—your mind, your heart, your experiences, your state of mind—rather than on how others may see you. 

It's really a waste of time to dwell on the thoughts of how others may see us. At the end of the day, everyone only really cares about one thing—themselves. This is the reality: people care more about their state of survival than to spend energy thinking about you. And even if they do, their negative judgements are their misery, not yours. 

But what you will discover on the journey of being yourself is that most of the time, the self-judgement is coming from within rather than from outside The Self. 

In conclusion, the journey of being ourselves is a journey not so much about “how to be” but rather a journey of developing the power to be anything one desires.

And the key to making progress on that journey is to develop Self-Acceptance. 

Of course, as one accepts the different possibilities of The Self, one will gradually rediscover new beliefs about what one desires to be again and again—which can be felt like a journey of losing oneself to find oneself. 

A journey of Self-Knowing thus is a journey of constant rediscoveries. 

Your Gift 

 

The best gift one can give to the world is to be a Clear Self for others to experience. 

Often, one can hide the unique parts of oneself that are too different from others. To be a Clear Self is to express those differences for others to see, even if one believes them to be undesirable. 

When one shares themselves in this way, one is sharing their unique perspective in life, which can help others to see life in another light, helping others' beliefs to move forward in becoming ever more refined. 

Realize that if everyone all conformed to the same perspective in order to escape the possibilities of disagreement and discomfort with each other, what wisdom would grow from such a placid environment? 

Beliefs can only be refined when existing ones are being challenged. That is why it’s not only important for one to surround oneself with minds that are different, but also to express one’s differences with others. 

And as there are no two people exactly the same, realize that everyone is an opportunity for you to refine your beliefs even more. Thus if you are willing, you can always learn more about yourself and develop greater Self-Acceptance through interacting with Other Selves, especially those that you hate because they will always serve as a reflection of the parts you are rejecting within yourself. 

So, in the grander scheme of things, we are all surrounded by teachers that can show us the infinite possibilities of The Self.

And the more one is being clear with us, the more we will receive the gift of learning.

And likewise, by simply being a Clear Selves for others, you will be giving them the gift of learning.