Self-Acceptance

Path Of Creator

Happiness and Self-Acceptance

The pursuit of Happiness is really the pursuit of Self-Acceptance. 

And like the journey of developing Self-Acceptance, most would often begin their journey of developing Happiness through engaging some type of action to develop the state of happiness, such as doing fun things, going clubbing, drinking, and so forth. And later on, when they realize that these kinds of activities can only offer temporary happiness, they may start to search for answers by visiting the realms of philosophy, religion, psychology, science, and so forth. This is just a picture of what the journey of Self-Transformation may begin for everyone. Inevitably, one will realize that the answers to their happiness can only be found inside. 

So, it’s only when one begins to practice looking inwards, such as practising meditation, that the journey can take a deeper turn—into Oneself. This is the true direction for developing greater happiness as the truth to all the mysteries of the mind, the secrets to one’s happiness can only be found within. 

How can the truth of the mind be found outside the mind?

But this inward journey will be challenging and full of darkness and paradoxes that can greatly confuse the mind.  

“How can I be happy when I am not happy?”

“How can I accept something I cannot accept?”

“Why is my Heart arguing with my Mind?”

“How is letting go of my desires going to bring me happiness?”

“Would I lose myself if I were to transform myself?”

“How can I develop Self-Knowing without thinking?”

One will no doubt encounter many confusing questions as one tries to develop the state of happiness and Self-Acceptance at the level of the mind. Unlike the outward journey where one can be guided by “experts” towards the “right directions,” on the journey of Self-Transformation, one will only have themselves on the journey. 

So, on the journey of Self-Transformation, no one will be able to answer one's questions but oneself. And this is great because finally, one will have no choice but to seek the truth within. 

Developing Self-Acceptance at the state of mind.

Here is a guide to help you understand how Self-Acceptance is often developed at the state of mind. 

Those who are trying to develop Self-Acceptance at the state of mind would often begin their journey developing Conditional Self-Acceptance.  

For instance, instead of always thinking about the worst that can happen in life, one may try to develop Self-Acceptance by learning to be more optimistic, telling oneself that everything will be fine.  

For instance, instead of thinking about focusing on the pain in life that one is currently experiencing, one may try to develop faith that all the miseries will eventually pass with time. 

For instance, instead of judging oneself for being poor, one may try to practice gratitude for at least having a roof over their head by comparing oneself with someone much poorer. 

For instance, instead of being angry at someone for being lazy, one may try to come up with reasons as to why that person is lazy to reach the state of Self-Acceptance.

Developing Self-Acceptance through these ways is to develop Self-Acceptance that is conditional. 

Conditional Self-Acceptance i’s much like saying to oneself: “I should accept my situation because so and so.” But this is also saying: “If my situation is not like this then I’m not going to accept it.”

Now, there is nothing wrong with developing the state of Conditional Acceptance as much of the world’s wisdom is based on Conditional Acceptance, and such wisdom can be truly inspiring. 

However, if one wishes to transform the Mind at the deepest level, one needs to aim further beyond Conditional Acceptance to develop Unconditional Acceptance.

Some examples:

For instance, instead of developing the state of Self-Acceptance by being optimistic that bad things won’t happen in life, one can develop unconditional Self-Acceptance by accepting the worst possible outcome that could happen.

For instance, instead of escaping from the pains in life through the use of wisdom, one may start to practice unconditional Self-Acceptance of the pain through deepening their awareness of it, to accept the pain as is. 

For instance, instead of feeling better by comparing oneself to a less fortunate person, one can start to practice unconditional Self-Acceptance by trying to accept oneself even if one is the most unfortunate person in the world. 

And to accelerate the journey of developing Unconditional Self-Acceptance, one can simply face what they cannot accept, or become what they cannot accept. This will turn one's experiences into a training ground for one to truly develop Unconditional Self-Acceptance. 

 However, this catalyst can be quite intense and disturbing so it’s not recommended unless one has a stable foundation. It’s simply suggested here as an example of the catalysts one can use to develop Unconditional Self-Acceptance. 

And as one tries to develop Unconditional Self-Acceptance, one will start to realize that for the journey to move forward, one has to learn to Accept not just oneself, or not just others, but all there is. 

For instance, as one tries to accept a part of someone that they hate, one needs to also learn to accept that part in oneself.

For instance, as one tries to accept the flaws in oneself, one will need to learn to accept that flaw in others as well. 

And as one attempts to develop Unconditional Acceptance even deeper, one will start to realize that Self-Acceptance is not just about accepting others, or oneself, but also everything that exists in the world, towards time, space, ideas, concepts, and so forth because All is The Self.  

This is just an example of what the journey of developing Self-Acceptance may look like and the various stages involved. Of course, this example can make the journey seem linear as if one is progressing from one stage to another, but it’s really simply a journey that unfolds in its own way.  

Can the mind be transformed if one forces it to change?

As one begins developing Self-Acceptance at the state of mind, one can feel as if one is forcing Self-Acceptance all the time. 

Realize that the mechanical practice of Self-Acceptance won’t be the exact thing that will transform the mind, but rather it is the wisdom that is developed from the experiences one gain from attempting to develop Self-Acceptance that will transform the mind.

So, the “mechanical” aspect of holding the intention to accept all there is in all moments is simply a catalyst to distil transformative wisdom from life experiences.

And what kind of wisdom you develop will always be determined by the type of intention you hold.

For instance, if one holds the intention to escape pain, then one will only gain the wisdom of how to escape the pain.

For instance, if one holds the intention to mechanically accept everything that comes into one’s life, one will only gain the wisdom of being a robot.

So, realize that the aim is to develop Wisdom.

Wisdom is what can transform deeply-rooted beliefs. 

See Catalyst - Wisdom for more details.

Realize that naturally as one goes through their life journey, it is inevitable that one will gain more and more wisdom. The information/catalyst offered in this article is just to provide you with ways to accelerate that journey in the most efficient way. 

As wisdom is not something that can be developed with a click of a finger, the journey of developing Self-Acceptance will be a gradual, challenging, and sometimes confusing journey.

But also rewarding!