Attraction

Attraction In Depth

Mirror Mirror

When it comes to swiping people left and right on Tinder, one would not really think much about why one is attracted to one person and not the other.

"Why do I find this person attractive and not the other?"

When one explores such a question, one may find simple answers: maybe it's their muscles, their pretty face; maybe it's their chest size or the size of their wallet. 

But still, what is the deeper answer? 

"Why am I attracted to these things?"

Most of us would simply choose not to explore such a question as it can seem like an unnecessary thing to do. But in not exploring for the answers, one will never truly know why they like what they like. Some may even come to the belief that their preferences, likes, hates, are all set in stone because the forces of attraction can be so overpowering that it seems unchangeable: how difficult it is to force ourselves to like something we don't like, to go out with someone we are not attracted to, or to do things we don't like?

By understanding more about the causes for the forces of attraction, of how our minds work, it can make help us to feel less powerless when the mind overwhelms us with its fears and desires.

Thus, it can be a worthwhile journey to seek the answers as to why we are attracted to different things in our life, and also, explore the forces of attraction that are happening at different levels of The Self: the physical, mental, emotional forces of attraction to get a clearer picture. 

And what we will discover on the journey is that the cause for our likes and dislikes are not there because of some random genetic code within or some divine intervention, but rather, they are there because of the deeply rooted Ideas we have created within about ourselves and the world. 

The Cause Of Attraction 

The force of attraction within is generated by the Ideas we have created about ourselves and the world.

Realize that every idea you generate within will create different levels of attraction and repulsion to the things you experience in life. 

For instance, if you create an idea that it is not ok to be poor, then you will become attracted to things that embody wealth and become repulsed by things that embody poverty.

And the more you become attached to your ideas, the stronger the forces of attraction and repulsion. 

So, if you are attached to the idea that "It is not ok to waste time", then you can become attracted to things in life that are efficient, for instance, smartphones, and be repulsed by inefficient things like slow computers. 

Of course, this is an over-simplified of how the forces of attraction are generated inside because one can become attached to so many countless ideas—sometimes even ideas that contradict each other—which can make one clueless as to the drivers behind the forces of attraction that are happening inside. 

That is why it's important to develop Self-Knowing.

One can ask simple questions such as:

"What beliefs do I have that is making me like this thing?"

To find the answers, one can ask the following questions:

"What do I believe I must need in life?"

"What do I believe I must avoid in life?"

"What do I believe that will give me love and happiness?"

The practice of meditation can help one greatly to develop Self-Knowing because when one asks these questions with an Unstill mind, one can end up with a chaotic answer that is full of guesses and intellectual analysis. It's by simply observing the answers with a Still mind that one can discover Truth for what it is without distortion.

The Cause of the attraction towards certain appearances

On the journey of Self-Knowing, one will gradually realize that the ideas we have become attached to inside will also influence what type of "appearances" we are attracted to in life.

For instance, if one is attached to the idea that one needs to be rich to be happy, then one can become attracted towards rich-looking appearances, i.e. to people who appear well-dressed, elegant, successful, have a high-class demeanour, with features that give off the sense of being rich, and so forth. 

Realize that to the mind, every little detail about a person's appearance will give off a certain idea. For instance, the sharp edges of one's face can convey ideas of authority, the moon curves of one's eyes can suggest ideas of friendliness, the sly smiles can indicate ideas of being cunning, and so forth, right down to the tone of one's skin to their posture and their speaking.

So, every time we meet a person, different ideas will surface in our minds based on their appearance. For instance, ideas about how dangerous, rich, lazy, hard-working, bossy, they are. And whether we like them will be determined by the ideas we love and hate within. 

In short, when we are attracted to a person, we are simply attracted to the ideas we have created within.

So, from the perspective of the mind, when we fall in love, we are simply falling in love with ourselves.

Acceptance And Rejection

Realize that the more we reject parts of The Self, the stronger we will experience the forces of attraction operating within. 

For instance, when we become attached to the idea, "It is not ok to be poor"  it will generate a repulsive force towards things that embody the idea and an attractive force towards its opposite.

But the more we accept parts of The Self, the less we will experience the overwhelming force of attraction.

For instance, when we are able to accept the idea that "It is ok to be poor", the mind will simply be in a state of calm and acceptance towards things that embody the gist of the idea. 

Thus, the more you learn to accept yourself, others, and everything in life, the less the forces of repulsion and attraction will operate within you.

This will help you to make better decisions in life because when you are less compelled by the attractive forces within to make decisions, you will be able to act more out of wisdom. 

Realize that the forces of attraction will naturally fade away the more one develops greater happiness in life. Because when one is truly happy inside, there will be no need for the mind to force one to reach for things outside.

Different Levels Of Attraction

Meditation is a great tool of developing Self-Knowing. 

Through the practice, you will be able to develop greater awareness of the forces of attraction operating in the different levels of The Self.

For instance, when one is only aware of the forces happening at the physical level, one will only be drawn to what attracts them at the physical level.

But if one can develop a deeper awareness of the forces of attraction happening at the emotional and mental level as well, the more clues one will have as to what they truly like and dislike.

This can help one to make better choices in life, for instance, to choose better partners. Realize that when one chooses a partner simply out of physical attraction without considering one's mental and emotional attraction, one can end up in a relationship that is short-lived.

Also, the more one Stills one mind, the more one will be able to sense the forces of attraction that are happening at the spiritual level as well. This is a different kind of force altogether, not driven by one's ideas, but by the soul's desire for deeper learning. Following this subtle pull can lead one to enlightening experiences.