Attachment
"Let go of what is making you unhappy"
Introduction
Defining Attachment
When we've become attached to something, it means that we no longer can let it go.
In life, we can develop attachments to many things, for instance, to the things we buy and to the people we love. We can even develop attachments to the habits and desires that bring us pleasure, for instance, to the longing for a partner, to the drinking of alcohol, to the need to be approved by others, and so forth.
Strangely enough, we can even develop an attachment to the suffering states of the mind: to our fears, to the anger, to the destructive habit patterns.
In this article, we will explore what attachment really is, its cause, and how to release ourselves from our attachments.
Attachment In Depth
Attachment creates Suffering
One way to create happiness in life is to reach for things we can see and touch in the world. However, when we become dependent and attached to these outer objects as the source of our happiness, the things we have become attached to can lead us down on a path of suffering. This is because if we don't have these things, we can despair for their absence and crave for them; and if for some reason these things disappear, we'll grieve over the loss.
Thus the happiness one experiences through one's attachment will always be temporary because it will ultimately be eclipsed by the suffering states of the mind it brings, and if not, one's happiness will fade as one loses interest in them with time.
How to tell if one has become attached?
There's a difference between owning something and becoming attached to it: The relationship of the former will not bring suffering whilst the latter will.
So, if one wishes to assess whether there are states of attachments within one's relationship with the things one owns, one can explore for the states of craving and fearing; if there are, it means that there are attachments.
Realize that Fear and Craving are states of attachment because they are essentially desires that one cannot let go of, for instance, craving is the desire that something must happen; fear, something must not happen. Thus if you can spot these symptoms, it means that there are attachments within the mind.
Attachments can also come in different degrees: from slight to deeply-rooted attachments. Realize that all of us will have our own attachments on one level or another. Because the state of attachment is so common, one may think that it's a normal state of mind to have when owning something, but just because it's common to experience the state of unhappiness doesn't mean that it can be transformed into greater happiness.
The more one can become aware of their attachments and realize how suffering it is, the more one will be able to release them and shift their path away from suffering.
That is why if one wishes for greater happiness, then one needs to realize the importance of addressing one's attachments; otherwise, one can be led blindly by the attached mind down on a path of suffering.
Releasing One's Attachments
The journey of releasing our attachments is a journey of transforming the mind rather than addressing the action.
Thus, to release our attachments is not about physically distancing ourselves from owning anything in life; rather, it is about reaching a state of mind where there is no longer a mental and emotional attachment to the things around us.
However in saying this, learning to renounce the things that one is attached to at the physical level can help one greatly on one's inner journey of releasing their attachment.
Through the acts of renunciation, one can encounter the Inner Resistance that are preventing them from simply letting their attachment go, which will allow one the opportunity to explore why that is, helping one to discover the deeper causes of their attachments.
Would releasing my attachments make me less human?
Some people can believe that when one is no longer attached to anything, one will become no more than a lifeless robot. As a result, one can use this thought as a reason to not release their attachments.
Realize that the mind will always come up with reasons to sustain its old habit patterns. Thus, those who can come up with extremely good reasons to not release their attachments often have an extremely attached mind.
That is why the practice of meditation can help one to put the analysing mind aside. Once one begins the practice of meditation daily and realizes the happiness one can experience within when the mind is in a state of Stillness, which is essentially a state without attachment, the experience can transform one's perception towards the relationship one has with the things one is attached to. Maybe one will gradually realize that real happiness is created from within rather than from reaching for things in the world outside; this realization can transform one's habit patterns of attachment.
Causes Of Attachment
Behind our attachments will always be some sort of Suffering driving it i.e. fears, negativity, negative judgement, and so forth. For instance our cravings for money may come from the fear of not having enough, or from the fear of not being appreciated by others, and so forth.
If we turn out attention inwards to discover what attachment is really about, we can discover a harsh truth—that we are are attached to things because we cannot be happy with just ourselves.
All forms of sufferings will always recede back to the one seed cause which is the lack of Self-Acceptance.
Importance
Importance Of Addressing Attachment
On the journey of addressing one's attachment, it can be easy to see desires as a bad thing because one may equate attachment with desires.
But realize that desires are neither good nor bad. It's more about the relationships you have with them.
On one hand, desires can lead one on a journey of new life experiences and self-discovery. And on the other, desires can lead one down on a road of suffering when one becomes attached to them.
Thus, instead of carrying the mentality that all desires must be destroyed for greater happiness, simply carry the intention to improve the relationship you have with your desires instead.
To tell whether you have a healthy relationship with your desires or not, you can ask yourself if any of your desires are generating any kind of suffering states of mind, i.e. negativity, limitation, fears, a sense of unfulfillment, and so forth.
If there are, it doesn't mean to destroy these desires. Rather, it's to explore the suffering states of the mind that is driving the experience and transform it so that one's desires won't lead one down on a path of suffering.
Realize that the deeper cause of one's attachments will always be their Suffering States of mind. Thus the focus of the journey is not so much about attacking the desires but rather to explore and transform the suffering states of mind. Once the deeper causes are released, one will no longer experience any sufferings to the things they used to be attached to.
Path Of Creator
Love In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey of transforming our attachment is a journey at the level of the mind because that is where the states of suffering and happiness originate.
Thus, how one wishes to live their life on the outside, whether it be to pursue their desires or not, it's really a matter of choice rather than the subject of right and wrong.
Now, if one wishes for greater happiness, then one can learn to release their attachments.
One can start their journey by looking inwards to explore and understand what attachments really are at the deepest level of the mind.
Let us look at what attachments are at the deepest level of the mind.
At The Idea Level
Everything begins with an Idea.
Even attachments.
Let us understand this by first exploring how an Idea can create the Suffering States of the mind.
When one creates a Negative Idea "i.e. an Idea that promotes Self-Rejection" then the Suffering states of the mind will be experienced.
Realize that all forms of suffering are created by negative Ideas, even our attachments, whether it be to objects, habit patterns, desires, and so forth.
Negative Ideas can be transcribed as an Idea that begin with "It is not ok.."
For instance, the theme of the Negative Ideas driving one's attachments to outer objects will usually begin with:
“It is not ok to not have...”
For instance,
“It is not ok to not have a fast car”
Because it's not ok to not have a fast car, the belief will compel one to buy a fast car and experience suffering in the absence of it.
To release one's attachments thus is to discover the beliefs one has created in one's mind. Once discovered, why can ask the following questions to explore it deeper:
"Why is this belief important to me?
"Why have I become attached to this negative Idea?
"Why can't I simply be happy without it?"
Again, the act of renunciation can help one to develop the Knowing, and when coupled with meditation, can help one to gain great insights into the nature of the chaotic thoughts and emotions that can happen within when one challenges the attached mind with the acts of renunciation, helping one to discover the causes and reasons for the attachment in the first place—which will be about the beliefs of what they need to be happy in life.
The act of letting go of the objects of our desires can thus also be a useful way to measure how deeply we have become attached to something. Because it's through the act of letting go that one can find how deeply one has become attached.
The act of letting go at the physical level can also help one become aware of how powerless and submissive one can be to the attached mind, which can help one to discover more reasons and motivation to let go of their attachments.
So, one can do things in the outside world such as practising renunciation to get to know their inside world better. There are also other ways, but to keep this article short, we won't go into details.
The journey of releasing attachments will ultimately take one to face the question:
"Why do I need to have something to be happy?"
"Why can't I simply be happy with just myself?"
The answers one receive usually would take them to realize that the reason why one has been reaching for happiness in an attached way is because one is unhappy.
Thus, the more one addresses their suffering states of mind in general, the issues to do with an attachment will naturally be resolved.
And as one transforms their suffering states of mind, one's relationship with their desires wll naturally improve. For instance, one will no longer love people and the things they desire out of attachment but rather with unconditional love—the sort of love that won't turn into worry, hate, disappointment and despair; the love that brings peace and happiness rather than suffering.
The destination is towards liberating oneself from one's suffering states of mind.
When one is truly happy, one will no longer need to become attached to other things to be happy.
Know and Transform The Self!
Reading articles helps with understanding, but to transform the mind, one realizes the truth from experience.
For such an enlightening journey, the Self-Transformation Course has everything you will ever need!
