Welcome

My Story

Chapter 1: A Dark Future Ahead

Suffering is like a ticking time bomb: one moment you feel fine, and the next, something explodes from within.

During my childhood, I never noticed how much suffering was hiding inside. I used to be full of energy and made friends effortlessly. It wasn't until high school that darker feelings began to emerge—fear, impatience, and anger, growing in intensity as the days went by

Initially, I thought the solution to my problems was simple: all I needed to do was avoid people and uncomfortable situations.

But by the time I reached my university years, the sufferings grew to a point I could no longer ignore. During the day, I was trapped in fear and depression. At night, I would roll in bed for hours with endless racing thoughts. In the mornings, I felt no purpose to get out of bed.

To make matters worse, I began developing rare, physical conditions—including severe allergies that permanently blocked my ability to breathe through my nose.

Still, I remained hopeful. I told myself these problems were temporary, like a passing flu.

But, time only made things worse.

After I finished university, my fears had isolated me so thoroughly that I graduated without a single friend.

My future looked grim. I was too terrified to speak to anyone, let alone apply for a job.

How was I going to find a friend?

How was I going to get a job?

Would I have to breathe through my mouth for the rest of my life?

The more I thought about my future, the darker it became.

Chapter 2: The Guru With a Broom

After university, I stayed at home like a depressed flat tire: I was too terrified to apply for a job because I feared rejection—and strangely, I feared acceptance just as much. My mind was a complete mess, paralyzed by every possible scenario.

I hated my endless fears.

Luckily, a friend of my mum's opened a backpackers hostel just a few minutes’ walk from my house. It was close enough for me to feel safe stepping outside. After much hesitation, I asked my mum to see if her friend would let me work there. Fortunately, I managed to land a small clerical role.

And that was when my life began to change.

At the time, there was a cleaner working at the hostel who made it his personal mission to come into my office every day and annoy me. He acted like a guru with a broom, treating everyone as inferior—including me. He was quick to spot my weaknesses and wasted no time poking fun at my flaws.

Whenever he criticized me, rage erupted inside me. I wanted to defend myself and curse at him, but I was too scared to speak up—which only fueled the anger even more.

Yet, beneath my fuming mind, my heart wanted to forgive him. I was thankful for his company, and I sensed no bad intention so maybe I was the problem? He simply didn't care whether I liked him or not. And because his rudeness helped cut right through my fear of social interactions, I began talking to him more and more.

Soon enough, he would pop into my office to make sure I didn't go a single day without being bothered. Sometimes he’d throw a dirty towel over my head. Other times he’d emerge from a dark corner to scare me and teach me a lesson "Always be aware". Naturally, I got my revenge.

In no time, he went from cleaner, prankster, to a friend and someone I looked up to.

One day, since he seemed to know everything, I took a leap and asked him: "What should I do with my life?" I expected him to laugh in my face. But for the first time, he just looked at me. For a brief moment, I could see his eyes vibrating as if scanning intensely for something. And then he said:

"Listen to your heart."

Those words sparked intense curiosity in me.

What exactly did he mean?

He seemed to suggest there was a deeper voice inside I was ignoring. So for days, I tried to communicate with my heart.

I tried to listen, but the only inner voice I heard was: "Kill him." Was my heart telling me to eliminate the cleaner, or was that just my mind talking?

Confused, I came up with a strategy: if I did 10 completely different things a day, surely I’d end up doing at least one thing my heart actually wanted? So, I began doing random things throughout the day.

But every time I went back to ask him if I was following my heart, he’d act like a clown and berate me for getting it all wrong. He'd say:

"Out of 78 things your heart wanted you to do today, you did absolutely zero!"

Then he’d launch into a dramatic performance, pretending to complain to my guardian angel about my utter incompetence.

Over time, I grew even more confused and angry—Was I listening to my heart, my thoughts, or my emotions? What's the difference? Or, was he just making things up? Could he really know if I was listening to my heart? Was he a scammer? Why doesn't he just tell me what to do?

The more he criticized me, the more obsessed I became with figuring out what I was doing wrong. I couldn't tolerate failing so miserably. This was a challenge I had to overcome.

So, I kept asking him to teach me. But every time he agreed, I would ask when the lessons would start. He's just deflect the question and ramble on about the endless list of things that annoyed him that day. I couldn't tell if he was trying to be mysterious, lazy, or just being a clown. One moment he’d share something profound, like how the heart is the gateway to the soul—and the next moment, he’d hand me a banana and tell me to call my heart with it.

Yeah..no one answered the banana call.

Months went by like this, with promised lessons left completely undelivered until he finally left the hostel. True to his character, he departed with a dramatic performance and complained that I had wasted his time.

Although I was confused, for the first time in years, I felt incredibly at peace.

All I wanted to do now was to figure out how to listen to my heart.

Chapter 3: Chasing My Nightmares

How could I differentiate the voice of my heart from my thoughts and emotions?

When I asked myself that question, the answer came faster than expected:

Just silence the other two!

I realized that if there was no noise competing with my heart, its voice would naturally come through loud and clear.

Perhaps I didn't need a complex technique. I simply needed to remove whatever was blocking the heart's path. This had to be the way.

So I tried to silence my mind.

And failed miserably

Whenever I tried to quiet my mind, thoughts and emotions would bubble up one after another.

What were these noises?

Where were they coming from?

Over time, I began to see what these noises really were: they were my internal negativities. Whenever I felt angry, unhappy, anxious, or unwell, the volume of those inner noises escalated.

So, I changed my strategy.

How do I eliminate my suffering?

This marked the beginning of my Data Collection Period—a journey that would span my entire twenties, dedicated to studying what suffering actually was.

At first, I wasn't sure how to gather the data. But I knew one thing for certain: I wasn't going to look for answers in books or from gurus with brooms again.

I was exhausted by disappointments.

So, I decided that the only way to learn about suffering was from my own experiences—and the best way to do that was to..throw myself into suffering situations.

As a result, while others were enjoying life and pursuing what they loved, I began my days actively chasing experiences I utterly dreaded.

I started with baby steps—visiting crowded shopping malls, cafes, and parks. I forced myself to do things that terrified me: making eye contact with strangers, stepping into large crowds, and trying to have conversations with my mother, with whom I had a terrible relationship.

As time went on, I took bigger leaps. I tried greeting strangers as they walked by, joined awkward dance classes, and signed up for public speaking clubs. I even went bungee jumping and learned to fly a small plane, all to face my traumatic fear of heights..

I was so dedicated to data collection that I ended up choosing a job that I absolutely hated because it gave me the opportunity to experience all sorts of suffering every day. It was a government job where people cared about things that I thought was incredibly boring and stupid. Later, I stayed there for more than 10 years just to collect my data.

So, this was the darkest and most intense period of my life where I was obsessively chasing every form of suffering imaginable.

During this timeline of collecting suffering experiences, I began to ask myself if I could find a cause that was universal to all of them. "What was one thing that I was constantly doing in the mind whenever I was suffering?"

Through this question, I eventually discovered the Root Cause Of Suffering. (I explain this more in Stage 1 of my course, which you can access completely for free.)

Chapter 4: Blueprint of the Mind

But what is the cause for the root cause of suffering?

I wanted to explore further to find the absolute Seed Cause Of Suffering.

During those dark years of collecting data, I was also practicing meditation. Out of all my experiments, meditation was by far the most brutal. Sitting for just five minutes made me want to throw up. There was physical pain from my body, mental anguish from my mind, and an indescribable trauma from somewhere deep beyond. But because it was the one thing I knew deep down in my heart was guiding me to do, I was determined to follow through

So, for years, I woke up at 4:30 AM every day to meditate. I actually had no idea what I was doing—I simply watched a 7-minute meditation video in 3 minutes time. Maybe that's why the instructions were unclear.

For years, I kept asking myself: What was the purpose of this? To endure pain? Why was my heart asking me to do this? Pure curiosity and the sheer challenge were the only things keeping me going. And every day as I sat down, I secretly hoped something magical would happen—enlightenment, levitation, or even better, X-ray vision. But the only magical thing was that I would somehow survive the session every time.

Every few weeks, I would also try different ways of meditating in the hopes of experiencing something different. I tried visualizing colors, manipulating energy, controlling my thoughts, regulating my breath, suppressing pain, meditating with half-open eyes, exaggerating pain, running away from pain—basically anything I could do to make this practice less dull.

Ironically, after trying countless methods, I discovered that the absolute best way to reach a clear mind was to simply do nothing and observe.

Who would’ve known?

So, I just sat and observed. And as I did, I grew increasingly curious: Why was this guy suffering so much when he was doing literally nothing except sitting there like a crooked tree? Didn't suffering require an external trigger to exist?

I kept meditating, hoping the answer would reveal itself.

For a long time, no clues came.

Long story short, after an agonizing journey of meditation that took years but felt like decades, I managed to momentarily reach a state of absolute Stillness. As that state began to slip away and time started ticking again, I watched what was happening in the deepest layer of my mind: how suffering originated, cascaded through every mental layer, and finally surfaced on my body.

In that moment, I realized the Seed Cause Of Suffering—and alongside it, the ultimate solution. (This is covered in Stage 2 of the course)

Chapter 5: Who Is the Creator?

Once I realized the seed cause of suffering, I began creating techniques to reverse it.

And where did I experiment them?

My workplace remained the ultimate testing ground because it provided endless opportunities for suffering. The boss was terrible, the colleagues were unreasonable, and the customers and the work environment was toxic and life draining.

Perfect.

I began to keep a journal of my progress and compiled a list of every form of suffering I wanted to eliminate from my system.

The list was so long—it felt like it might take a lifetime to work through. Nevertheless, I started testing techniques to transform them and ticked off what worked and what didn't. Over time, I distilled from my data the absolute minimum, fundamental steps required to ignite true Self-Transformation. (This is taught in Stage 3 of the course).

In the beginning I didn't see any change so I went through a period of self-doubt.

But one day, as I stood waiting to cross the road, something remarkable happened. My nostrils suddenly unblocked! For the first time in years, I could actually smell the air. I had forgotten what it felt like to breathe normally; I hadn't even realized how deeply I was suffering until that moment of relief.

As time passed and my chronic health issues began vanishing one by one, I became increasingly confident that I was on the right track with my techniques. It also made me realize that there was a deep connection between disease and the mind. After all, disease was just another form of suffering manifested through the body.

"How much of my disease was created by my mind?"

"Which suffering creates which kind of disease and is linked to what part of the body?"

Like this, I went on another arc to collect data for this mind body connection.

As time went by, I became curious about whether I could accelerate the process of Self-Transformation:

What is the optimal dose of suffering?

Is suffering even necessary, or can positive experiences drive transformation too?

What about action, intention, or habit patterns?

Can you transform the mind without taking physical action at all?

I began creating and testing various accelerators I came to call "Catalysts."

By my mid-to-late twenties, I had cleared about 90% of the list of sufferings and sorted out all of my health problems. I actually had forgotten about some of the old problems on the list because they had disappeared for such a long time. By now, I had reached a stage where I felt happy enough to call it a day. But because I had nothing better to do, I wanted to figure out how deep I could actually go into this journey.

I wanted to make sure I was moving forward in my life. By now, I had been using suffering as stepping stones to propel me forward. But now, the problem was that I could barely find anything that made me suffer anymore. So I began to question:

How could I find sufferings that I do not yet know?

How do I uncover deeper sufferings?

Would following my heart every second take me to discover them?

Or should I go against my heart to find them?

How about going on a journey to explore and fulfill my desires?

Could I ask the Universe to bring more suffering?

What if I just became lazy and stopped meditating for a year?

Like this, I tested every scenario I could think of.

As I continued to discover and work through the deeper layers of suffering, a deeper question began to emerge:

Who am I?

It was inevitable that this question emerged because the more suffering I released, the less bound I became to my personality. It naturally made me question, "If my personality is not my true identity, then who am I?"

So, I went on another journey and began to question the design of the personality.

Is this personality something that helps me?

Is it harmful?

What's its true purpose?

Should I discard it?

Should I improve it?

With time, I realized that there were parts of myself that I could not change. This was like an archetypal blueprint that my mind would always gravitate towards. It was more like a structure rather than something that was causing me any suffering.

Realizing how everything in my mind worked made me appreciate myself for my own uniqueness. But why was the mind structured this way? There seemed to be a hidden design beneath everything I was experiencing. "

What was the purpose behind it?

And who was I before I clothed myself in this personality?

What is life and what happens after death?

What is time and is fate?

What was the purpose behind Creation and who us The Creator?

After years of exploring, testing, and connecting the dots, I finally understood the grand design. This was inevitable. Because the more you study yourself, the more you are studying The Creator. Ultimately, I realized the Blueprint of the Creator. (This is covered in Stage 4 of the course.)

In short, this is a glimpse into how I acquired my knowledge. I didn't have superpowers like some enlightened gurus who could channel information from bananas. I just went through an arduous journey of data collection to connect the dots.

If you want to dive deeper into how I gathered my data and reached my conclusions, I can publish books to cover each phase of my journey in much more detail. There's too many stories and journeys too tell. But if you want to transform your mind right now, my course will give you everything you need to know to start your own journey of Self-Transformation.

Chapter 6: The 7-Year Disappearance

After I worked through my own sufferings, I began creating courses to help others do the same. This was in my mid 20s when I created the initial system and now I'm in my 40s.

Over the last two decades, I have tested, refined, and simplified this system so that anyone—even a total beginner—can apply it. While the core principles have remained unshakeable, the biggest change has been in how I teach it.

You see, in my twenties, I was too young to properly teach the full extent of the Self-Transformation journey. I had too much data, but lacked the structure and communication skills to express it clearly.

As a result, I ended up creating fragmented courses that only covered small pieces of the puzzle. I was also worried about how people would react to a path that directly challenged modern, traditional, and religious teachings. So, I watered down some concepts to accommodate the masses.

Although I received glowing reviews, it never sat right with my heart. I was offering people an interesting boat cruise into the mind when I should have been taking them on a direct train ride into the darkest corners—the exact places they needed to illuminate.

So, for a while, I stopped making courses altogether. I was left with a choice: Should I continue making comfortable, watered-down courses that appeals to many or an uncompromising, highly effective journey that will intimidate the majority?

While contemplating this, I focused my attention on developing my language skills. I knew I had to improve my ability to structure ideas and simplify complex concepts. My heart also told me that I was doing too much. So, I slowed my pace and tried living like a normal person for a while. I figured that by the time I made up my mind, I would at least have the skills and clarity to create the high-quality course I desired. That explains my 6-year disappearance.

Now, in 2026, I have reached a conclusion: I no longer wish to accommodate the masses. I want to offer an uncompromising, high-quality journey for the few who are genuinely ready to put in the work and transform their suffering at the deepest level of the mind. I want to make everything simple: just one course with different stages for people to move entirely at their own pace. It will be more challenging than before—but much more rewarding.

Chapter 7: The Path of the Creator

This journey will not be easy. It will undoubtedly be the most challenging endeavor you ever undertake—not because you have to abandon your lifestyle, but because you will finally have to face the deepest Self.

The Journey flows through 4 stages:

• Stage 1: Self-Acceptance
• Stage 2: The Mind’s Blueprint
• Stage 3: Self-Transformation
• Stage 4: The Creator’s Blueprint

I am currently still creating the Course. If you would like updates, you can join my newsletter below.