Story Transforming Suffering into Greater Wisdom, Power, and Happiness

Chapter I. A Dark Future Ahead

Suffering is like a ticking time bomb: one moment you feel fine, and the next, something explodes from within.

When I was young, I never noticed how much suffering was hiding inside. I used to be full of energy and made friends effortlessly. It wasn't until high school that darker feelings began to emerge—fear, impatience, and anger, growing in intensity as the days went by.

Initially, I thought the solution to my unhappiness was simple: all I needed to do was avoid people and the uncomfortable situations.

But by the time I reached university, the sufferings within had grown to a point I could no longer ignore. During the day, I was trapped in fear and depression. At night, I would roll in bed for hours with endless racing thoughts. In the mornings, I felt no purpose to get out of bed.

To make matters worse, I began developing rare, physical conditions—including severe allergies that permanently blocked my ability to breathe through my nose.

Still, I remained hopeful. I told myself these problems were temporary, like a passing flu.

But, time only made things worse.

After I finished university, my fears had socially isolated me so thoroughly that I graduated without a single friend.

My future looked grim. I was too terrified to speak to anyone, let alone apply for a job.

How was I going to find a friend?

How was I going to get a job?

Would I have to breathe through my mouth for the rest of my life?

How in the world can I get out of this nightmare?

Chapter II. The Guru With a Broom

After university, I stayed at home like a depressed flat tire: I had no direction in life. I was too afraid to apply for a job out of the fear of rejection—and at the same time I feared acceptance just as much. My mind was a complete mess, paralyzed by every possible scenario.

I hated my endless fears

Luckily, a friend of my mum's opened a backpackers hostel just a few minutes’ walk from my house. It was close enough for me to feel safe stepping outside. After much hesitation, I asked my mum if her friend would let me work there. I was tired of looking out of my bedroom window all day.

Fortunately, I managed to land a small clerical role there.

That marked the turning point of my life.

At the time, there was a cleaner working at the hostel who made it his personal mission to come into my office every day to annoy me. He acted like a guru with a broom, treating everyone as inferior—including me. He was quick to spot my weaknesses and wasted no time poking fun at my flaws.

Whenever he criticized me, rage erupted inside me. I wanted to defend myself and curse at him, but I was too scared to speak up—which only fueled the anger even more after I returned home.

Yet, I was thankful for his company and I sensed no bad intention. I even wondered, perhaps I was the problem?

Why can't I control my anger??

Because his rudeness helped cut right through my fear of social interactions, I began talking to him more and more.

Soon enough, he would pop into my office to make sure I didn't go a single day without being bothered. Sometimes he’d throw a dirty towel over my head. Other times he’d emerge from a dark corner to scare me and deliver a reminder:

"Always be aware!"

Naturally, I got my revenge and played the game until we both became paranoid of dark corners.

In no time, he went from cleaner, prankster, to a friend and someone I admired.

One day, since he claimed to know everything about life, I took a leap and asked him:

"What should I do with my life?"

I expected him to make fun of me. But for the first time, he just looked at me. His eyes were vibrating as if scanning intensely for something and then said:

"Listen to your heart."

...

What exactly did he mean?

Was there a voice I was ignoring?

For days, I tried to communicate with my "Heart".

But the only inner voice I heard was... "Kill him!"

Was my heart telling me to eliminate the cleaner?

Or.. was that just my mind talking?

Confused, I decided that if I did 5 completely different things a day, surely I’d end up doing at least one thing my heart actually wanted?

So, I began doing random things throughout the day.

But, every time I asked the cleaner if I was following my heart, he’d act like a clown and berate me for getting it all wrong.

He'd say things like:

"Out of 78 things your heart wanted you to do today, you did absolutely zero!"

Then he’d launch into a dramatic performance, pretending to complain to the heavens about my utter incompetence.

His exaggerated reactions made me so confused and mad.

Was I listening to my heart, my thoughts, or my emotions? Was he just making things up? Was he joking about this whole thing?

Why doesn't he just tell me what to do??

The more he criticized me, the more obsessed I became with figuring out what I was doing wrong. I couldn't tolerate failing so miserably.

I kept asking him to teach me. He would agree but never specify a time. Instead, he'd ramble on about the endless list of things that annoyed him that day. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. One moment he’d share something profound, like how the heart is the gateway to the soul—and the next, he’d hand me a banana and tell me to call my heart with it.

No one answered the banana call.

Months went by like this, with promised lessons left completely undelivered until he finally left the hostel.

True to his character, he departed with a theatrical performance by complaining that I had wasted his precious time.

Strangely, after he left, the only question that mattered to me was:

How can I hear my heart??

Chapter III. Hunting For Sufferings

How do I differentiate the voice of my heart from my thoughts and emotions?

When I asked myself that question, the answer came faster than expected:

Just silence the other two!

It made sense. If there was no noise competing with my heart, its voice would naturally rise.

Perhaps it was never about having a technique to hear the heart. I simply needed to remove whatever was blocking me from hearing it—this had to be the way!

So I tried to silence my mind.

And..failed miserably.

Whenever I tried to quiet my mind, thoughts and emotions would bubble up one after another.

Why is it so noisy inside??

Over time, I began to see what these noises really were: they were my Sufferings. Whenever I felt angry, unhappy, anxious, or unwell, the noise begins.

So, I changed my strategy.

How do I eliminate my suffering???

This marked the beginning of my Data Collection Period—a journey that would span my entire twenties, dedicated to studying what suffering actually was.

At first, I wasn't sure how to gather the data. But I knew one thing for certain: I wasn't going to look for answers from books or gurus with brooms again.

I decided that the only way to learn about suffering was from my own experiences—and the best way to do that was to..throw myself into suffering situations!

As a result, while others were enjoying life and pursuing what they loved, I began my days actively chasing the experiences I've always avoided.

I started with baby steps—visiting crowded shopping malls, cafes, and parks. I forced myself to do things that terrified me: making eye contact with strangers and stepping into large crowds.

As time went on, I took bigger leaps. I tried greeting strangers as they walked by, joined awkward dance classes, and signed up for public speaking clubs. I even went bungee jumping and learned to fly a small plane, all to challenge my extreme fears of heights.

I was so dedicated to collecting data that I ended up choosing a job I absolutely hated just so I could experience all sorts of suffering every day. It was a government job where people cared about things that was so incredibly boring and stupid. Little did I know, I would spend 10 years there just to collect my data.

The data collection period was the most intense period of my life where I was obsessively chasing every form of suffering imaginable. Trauma became a weekly theme. Most of the time, I wasn't sure if I was even getting anything out of it.

But I began to uncover a common theme: Everytime I suffered, I was rejecting something.

With time, it became more and more certain:

Suffering was simply the State Of Rejection!

Chapter IV. Blueprint of the Mind

Through countless suffering experiences, I found the Root Cause of Suffering.

But why were the roots there in the first place?

My heart knew that my beliefs were the seed cause. It made sense to my mind, but without substantial proof, it was only a theory.

During this period of collecting data, I was also practicing meditation. Out of all my experiments, meditation was by far the most brutal. Five minutes of sitting made me want to throw up: pain in my body, anguish in my mind, and an indescribable trauma from somewhere deeper. My mind wanted to abandon ship but my heart told me to keep going. So, I was committed to follow through.

I was so determined to maintain the practice of meditation. I would wake up at 4:30 AM every morning to sit and suffer. I actually had no idea what I was doing—I simply watched a 7-minute meditation video in 3 minutes time.

Maybe that's why the instructions were unclear.

Every day I secretly hoped for enlightenment, levitation, or, even better, X-ray vision!

The only magic was that I survived.

Every few weeks, I tried different ways of meditating: I tried visualizing colors, manipulating energy, controlling my thoughts, regulating my breath, suppressing pain, half-opening my eyes, exaggerating pain, running away from pain—basically anything I could do to make this practice less dull.

Ironically, after trying countless methods for years, I discovered that the absolute best way to reach a clear mind was to..simply do nothing.

Only if someone told me..

So, I began meditating very simply. Just observing. Nothing more.

And as I did, a new question began to persistently bug me:

Why am I suffering so much by doing nothing???

I realized that if I could figure out the answer to this question, I would be able to discover the seed cause of my suffering.

And eventually, I did.

Long story short, after an agonizing journey of meditation that took years but felt like decades, I managed to momentarily reach a state of Absolute Stillness. As that state began to slip away and time resumed its flow, I witnessed what was flowing through the world in the deepest layer of my mind: how suffering originated, cascaded through every mental layer, and through my body.

In that moment, I realized that what my heart told me had been correct.

The Seed Of Suffering begins with an Idea.

(Covered in Stage 1 of the course)

Chapter V. The Creator's Blueprint

When you realize the true cause to a problem, you naturally realize the solution

So after I discovered the true cause of suffering, I began creating techniques to reverse it.

And where did I experiment them?

My workplace was the perfect training ground: There were enough terrible bosses, unreasonable colleagues, and the customers and the work environment provided enough suffering for me to test my techniques.

I had a journal of my progress and compiled a list of every form of suffering I wanted to eliminate from my system. The list was so long—it felt like a lifetime would not be enough to work through them.

Nevertheless, I created techniques to transform them and ticked off what worked and what didn't.

Over time, I distilled from my data the absolute minimum, fundamental steps required to ignite true Self-Transformation.

(Covered in Stage 2 of the course)

In the beginning I didn't see any change so I went through a period of self-doubt.

But one day, as I stood waiting to cross the road, something remarkable happened:

My nostrils suddenly unblocked!

For the first time since highschool, I finally could smell the air! I had gotten so used to breathing through my mouth I had completely forgotten how free it was to breathe normally.

I wasn't expecting that working on my mind, the first improvements I would see would be my physical health. So I was pleasantly surprised. And with time, all my other chronic health issues began to disappear.

I began to quetion:

"How much of my disease was created by my mind?"

"Do different kinds of suffering affect different body parts?"

Like this, I began another arc to collect data about what disease really was.

And over the years, as I began to notice my fears and other negative states of mind disappearing, no longer reappearing, I began to question about the whole process:

What is the optimal dose of suffering for Self-Transformation?

Is suffering even necessary, or can positive experiences work too?

Is there a way to accelerate Self-Transformation?

After extensive exploration, I created various accelerators I came to call "Catalysts".

By my mid-to-late twenties, I had cleared about 90% of the list of sufferings and completely sorted out all of my health problems. I felt happy enough to call it a day. But because I had nothing else better to do, I decided to go deeper into the journey.

However, I encountered a roadblock.

Suffering was the stepping stones I had used to move forward. But now, I could barely find any suffering to work on.

So I began a new arc of exploration:

How could I find sufferings that I do not yet know?

Would following my heart take me to discover them?

Is it possible to ask the Universe to bring more suffering?

If so, would those Sufferings be completely new, or pre-existing?

Like this, I tested every scenario I could think of just to gain insight about what suffering really was.

Discovering new sufferings began to feel like a treasure hunt to me. Because through them, I could upgrade my entire system.

So I kept on uncovering layers of my suffering one after the other.

Eventually, I even came to realize that Suffering was something that was planted there at birth.

But how?

Parallel to my journey of collecting data for suffering, I was also collecting data for the Blueprint of Creation.

There were profound questions I was exploring

"Why was Suffering designed this way?"

"Who is..The Creator behind this design?"

And years of connecting the dots, the answers eventually surfaced.

This was the inevitable destination of the Self-Transformation Journey.

Because the more you study yourself, the more you are studying The Creator.

The more you study the patterns of your life, the more you are studying the fabric of Reality.

Every Creation in life contains the reflection of The Creator and its Intentions

With time, I realized how the mind came to be, what destiny and luck really was, and the Grand Journey of the Soul.

I realized the Blueprint of Creation.

(Covered in Stage 3 of the course)

In short, this is just a glimpse into how I acquired my knowledge. I didn't have superpowers like some enlightened gurus who could channel information from bananas. I just went through an arduous journey of data collection.

Chapter VI. 7 Years Of Boredom

During the initial period when I was working through my Sufferings, I was also creating online Self-Transformation courses to help others do the same. This was in my mid 20s.

The courses I created were highly rated but it never sat right with my heart. Back then, I worried that the technique would be too challenging so I diluted it through several fragmented courses.

In the end, it felt like I was offering people an interesting cruise into the mind when I could've guided them directly into the darkest corners—the exact places they needed to illuminate.

After a few years, I stopped making courses because I became confused between two choices:

Should I make comfortable courses that could help many?

Or create highly effective courses that only a few would dare try?

Unable to come up with an answer, I invested time into doing something I hated: Learning English grammar! I knew that I had too much data but lacked the skill to structure and simplify.

My heart told me to read books. I hated reading books. But I needed to develop the skill, so for years, I pushed myself to read at least two sentences a day to improve my writing.

But just as I was about to create courses again, my heart told me to stop everything I was doing and learn how to live like an ordinary person.

I ignored it. It was the stupidest suggestion. I had spent years developing the skill to write and had a massive amount of new data for the course. I was so ready, My equipments were ready. But now I was asked to do nothing and live like a normal person?

Why should I waste time?

But, in the end, I gave in to its persistence. I decided to follow through with it, thinking it would only be for a few days

Little did I know, my heart actually wanted me to achieve nothing for years!

So, I ended up living like the most ordinary person that has ever lived.

Looking back, I now realize what my heart wanted. It wanted me to be happy living a simple life.

I was too obsessed with chasing for answers and pushing for achievements.

That long break marked the boringest period of my life. But it helped me to realize something deeper:

What is true happiness if it's not immune to boredom?

Chapter VII. The Path of the Creator

It's 2026.

7 years has passed and I'm now in my 40s.

It didn't take me long to conquer boredom. And the last few years I actually enjoyed living like an underachiever.

The long break has upgraded my system: I stopped feeling like I had to speed run everything. And also, after spending so much time doing useless things such as walking in parks and looking at trees, I realized what I truly wanted:

I want to spend more time doing meaningful things. I want to create an authentic and highly effective journey of Self‑Transformation for those who desire true lasting changes.

Now that I have developed the skills to simplify complex concepts and structure huge data sets, everything will be simple. There will no longer be fragmented courses.

Just One course for the Journey of Self‑Transformation.

And this course will be housed in a community where students can interact with one another. There will also be a stage set there to help students bring out their sufferings using the audience as a Catalyst.

If you want a dedicated place to work through your sufferings, this is the place for you!

However, be warned. The journey will not be easy. It will undoubtedly be the most challenging endeavor you will ever undertake—not because you have to abandon your lifestyle, but because you will finally have to face the darkest corner of The Self.

But it will also be the most enlightening and rewarding journey!

The journey flows through 3 stages:

Initially, I didn't plan to include a Stage 3—the metaphyical side of the journey—as it wasn't a necessary step for Self-Transformation. But, life has both a physical and a spiritual side. Beyond our sight is a world of energy. And by including it with the course, the whole picture of your Grand Journey becomes complete.

Visit the course page to learn more about the different stages of the course. If you want updates for when the course will be released, you can join my newsletter below.