"When you find yourself unable to let go, then you have become attached"
We go through life in search for happiness. And on our journey we can pick up many things which make us happy. However when our happiness becomes dependent on these external things we have become attached to them. And with attachment will come Suffering.
Attachment can be defined as the desires we have which we cannot to let go.
For instance the desire to buy the latest phone, the craving to be with someone or to do something.
Desires also include the negative desires.
For instance the desire to not breakup with someone, the desire to not end up in a bad job, the desire to not be poor.
So that is why Attachment can be defined as the desires we have which we cannot let go.
Why does attachment create suffering?
Because when we become attached to things such as an expensive car that we have brought, eventually we will lose interest, and then have the desire for more and bigger things. Even if we do not lose interest, we will suffer if the car disappears.
Thus the Path of attachment is a road with suffering at the end waiting to greet us.
But does this mean that by not attaching ourselves to everything at the external level, we will be then guaranteed eternal happiness?
This is because the issue of attachment needs to be addressed at the Reaction level. If we address attachment only at the surface level where we try not to “own” things it will never get to the root of the issue which is happening at the level of the “reaction.” As long as we are acting with craving towards things even though we may appear to not do it on the outside we are still reacting with attachment. And when we act with Aversion we are also acting with craving. Why is this? This is because when we have aversion we are in fear of something happening which is the same as craving something not to happen.
Attachment In Depth
Causes Of Attachment
Behind attachment will always be some sort of Suffering i.e. fears which drives us to become attached to the object of our desires. For instance our desires for money may come from the fear of not having enough security or not having reputation/approval from other people and so forth.
If we turn out attention inwards to discover what attachment is really about we will discover a harsh truth - The Seed Cause for attachment comes from us not being able to accept ourselves as is i.e. why can we simply just accept ourselves when we arewithout the things we desire.
All forms of sufferings will always recede back to one root cause which is the lack of Self-Acceptance.
Importance Of Addressing Attachment
A desires is neither good nor bad. One can have a healthy relationship with their desires if the desires do not lead to negativity / limitation / unfulfiment. But if the desires lead to a sense of unfulfilment and suffering then it will need to be addressed if one wishes to experience greater happiness in life.
Without Knowing that the deeper causes for attachment comes from our lack of acceptance of ourselves we can end up living a life of trying to address the issue by obtaining what we desire in life rather than the real issue of developing Self-Acceptance.
And this will be a life that will lead to great disappointments because society will always blast us with Ideas on what desires we should have in life, i.e. get married, have a job, get a fast car or become attached to pretty clothes. And when we obtain these desires without addressing the deeper issues inside we can end up realizing that we have made the wrong choices and these are not what we truly want – leading to more disappointment and feelings of un-fulfilment.
Attachment can create a great deal of confusion in the mind because when the mind is so focused on obtaining what it desires it can prevent The Self from appreciating the present moment / The Self as is and begin to dwell in the future/imagination.
Thus it is important to address the negative desires which promote attachment because without knowing why the desire is there, we can carry that sense of unfilment throughout life.
Path Of Creator
Love In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The journey is about creating greater happiness in life from the inside because that is where happiness is truly created and experienced.
What one chooses to pursue in life will always be a matter of choice that one makes in life so this article will not be dwelling in the ways one can live a “non-attached” life but rather this article will talk about the ways one can deal with the issues of attachment if one wishes to do at the deeper level of the mind.
At The Idea Level
The Seed Cause for all forms of sufferings will always recede back to Negative Ideas so let us look at how attachment happens at the deeper level of the mind in relation to Negative Ideas.
Attachment towards outer objects will always begin with our attachment towards Negative Ideas.
The themes of the Negative Ideas generated deep in the mind which will create attachment can be transcribed in the following opening self-declaration.
“It is not ok to not have...”
“It is not ok to not have a fast car”
To transform and release the Negative Idea one will have to develop the Knowing as to why one has become attached to such a Negative Idea.
One way to do so is to simply abstain from getting it and develop the Knowing of the cause as the Inner Resistances manifest.
"By not having something you will begin to realize why you cannot live without it"
The abstinence and renunciation from the objects of our desires is extremely useful in giving us a measure of how much we have become attached to something. Because by not doing something that you always do, you will realize how much you cannot refrain yourself from doing it. This will bring to light the fact how powerless and submissive you are to your attachments and this can help to motivate us address it as now we can see it as something which needs to be addressed. This will serve as an encouragement to release ourselves from our attachments as we will never feel the need to address our attachments if we do not see it as an issue to our happiness.
However, when abstinence and renunciation is done in an extreme degree it can be detrimental rather than beneficial. The purpose here is to graduate in steps in order to develop the Knowing of the fears/negativities behind attachment and through the release of those our attachment to things will naturally be released “I.e. we will no longer even have to try to let it go.”
Thus the focus here is not about giving up what we desire through action, but rather to answer the question as to why we cannot be happy without obtaining our desires.
Thus the whole process is not about giving up everything and living in the mountains because one cannot truly know if they have truly released their attachment to objects such as money until they are given an opportunity to observe their state at the reaction level when their objects of desires are dangled in front of them. Through the gradual renunciation of moderately moving ourselves away from the things we desire it will give us opportunities to observe our reactions and to find deeper Sufferings behind the attachment. When we do this with Stillness it will allow us to observe deeper and deeper to discover the cause of why we are reacting with attachment. Stillness thus is important, because because without Stillness we will only end up “Reacting Negatively” to the experience of abstaining ourselves from our desires which is simply unnecessary torture.
And once the attachment towards those objects are released then whether one wishes to have those objects is a simple matter of choice. And without attachment one will be able to exercise their choice with much clarity, i.e. to use money more wisely, to be in a healthier relationship / environment / to pursue their passion with more control and so forth.
In fact, once one has released themselves from their attachment , whether it is towards money or loved one, one will find that their relationship with them will naturally expand because when we lose the attachment on things that we find dear to us then the Knowing of Love will come and grow naturally. For example, to love without attachment is one of the greatest love we can give to a loved one. Because Love with Attachment is simply Control and Judgement. Thus to release our attachment from our loved ones or money does not mean it will eventually make us disconnected with everyone around us. In fact, it will expand our relationships with everything that is around us.
5 Second Rule
It is easy to understand attachment at the physical level as being fixated on an external object.
But attachment can also happen at the deeper level i.e. at the level of thoughts and emotions and this is the place where we often forget to do the greater work.
For instance, we can become attached to a thought, an idea, an image, a story etc. When we are craving for a particular feeling it is also a sign that we have become attached to that particular emotion.
No matter what kind of attachments we have, we need to let it go.
The importance of letting go is not because the object in which we are attached to is “bad” or “good.” But rather, letting go is about developing the power to not allow our reactions of craving and aversion overwhelm us. At the deeper level, this is about developing the Power of Acceptance, to accept The Self – our present state even if we do not have what we desire.
When we let our attachments overpower us, it can create a great deal of unhappiness. For instance, when we have a puzzle / problem in our mind we can often find ourselves thinking it over and over again to no ends.
Letting go in such a scenario is simply to not think about the problem. But the more we try to do this, the more we will find the mind’s old habit kicking in and we will find ourselves thinking about the problem again – and experience will teach us that doing such is a waste of time.
Thus here is the 5 second rule. No matter what you find your mind fixated on, always let it go in 5 seconds. And obviously this will be much easier said than done. But the more one does this, the faster one will be able to let go. Because through the practice of overcoming the inner-resistance each time one faces one’s own attachments, one will develop the Mental Power to let go of everything and as the Stillness comes then one can begin to question why there is such a desire in the first place and discover the Negative Ideas in one’s journey.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Whenever you experience a great desire to obtain something, may it be something you want to buy, someone you want to be with, something you want to do, simply take a step back from it and simply observe the emotion with a Still mind. The more you refrain yourself from obtaining it the more you will experience an Inner Resistance. Simply keep observing it with Stillness, and once the Stillness comes it is then you will truly know whether or not you really need it and the deeper causes as to why that desire was created in the first place.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
"It is through observation that all attachments are known"
As you meditate you will encounter all sorts of emotions and thoughts that come and go. And there will be times we will find ourselves dwelling on these. By simply observing “exciting” things that come and go in the mind, and the "negativities" that comes and go in the mind, we are learning the ability to be Still when these Reactions happen in real life. And through the practice of doing this we it will become easier and easier to let go of our attachments.
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