"It is through honesty that we can find ourselves"
Honesty is about being truthful about who we really are.
Honesty is also about accepting and expressing our true emotions and thoughts without distorting them.
It can be difficult to practice honesty in life because life can seem like a stage surrounded by an audience who are ready to judge us. And when live in fear of whether or not they will applaud us for who we are we may end up “acting” ourselves to please everyone’s expectations and hide the side of ourselves that may not suit their tastes.
Thus in life, we can easily hide ourselves with the many roles/masks given by the society for us to wear – acting as a perfect employee or a boss, a perfect husband or a wife, a friend or a mum and dad and so forth just so that we do not get booed off the stage.
This article is not addressing whether or not Honesty is wrong or right.
Whether or not you act honestly or not honesty is simply a choice.
I.e. whether or not you choose to express your true opinions about a person’s fashion style will simply be a choice.
But realize that we can be dishonest out of choice or we can be dishonest out of our fears/negavities.
Most of the time it is the latter and this is the deeper issue that this article is trying to address.
See Catalyst – Expectations.
Honesty In Depth
Honesty can be used as a catalyst to bring out the hidden sufferings into light. Because as we try to be honest, fears of judgement, rejection, saying the wrong things and so forth will finally surface which will tempt us to be dishonest.
Importance Of Addressing Dishonesty
To address the issues of dishonesty we first have to develop the intention to address it so let us look at the negative impacts that dishonesty can have in our lifes.
When we are dishonest with ourselves we can lose the connection and communication with our Inner-Selves. For instance, the more we lie to ourselves that we are not tired when we are in fact tired it can make us lose the connection we have with our body. When this happens we can convince ourselves that we are fine and continue to push the body when it is already fatigued. Doing such is Self-Deceit. And the layers of Self-Deceit can continue to build the more we lie to ourselves and lie to Other Selves. Such a path is the Path of Losing oneself.
Without developing honesty within oneself then one can easily overlook one’s deeper desires and begin to follow the desires created by the surface mind i.e. the personality and this can drive one to live a life that can never fulfil the emptiness within.
Without developing honesty one can also become an unclear Self for others to see. When one is an Unclear Self it is easy for miscommunication to happen. And when this happens one can become hurt easily when other people “misinterpret” them not Knowing that it is their lack of clarity that is making other people confused.
Path Of Creator
Honesty In Relation To The Path Of Creator
The Path Of Creator is about developing the Knowing Of The Self and Releasing our Sufferings.
Honesty can be used as a catalyst/gateway to the realization of the Deeper Self.
Such a journey begins with the understanding about what honesty is.
The journey will take us to develop the Knowing of The Self and this is catalyzed in the “attempt” of being honest about how we are really feeling and thinking. Because through the attempt of being “honest” all the time it will allow for situations where we find ourselves unable to be honest to come up. And these will also be the times when our deeper fears surface. Thus honesty is a way for us to dig deeper into ourselves to uncover the fears that are hidden deep inside.
The focus thus is not so much about Acting Honestly. It will actually be quite hard to be honest especially when the fears and negativities kick in.
Although Acting Honestly is encouraged because it can uncover even deeper fears, as long as one “attempts” to act honestly then that in itself can be enough for one to be aware of one's Sufferings. Because the greater focus of the path is about addressing the Cause of as to why one cannot be honest i.e. one’s Fears and Negativities rather than "Expressing" honesty all the time. The action is not so focused too much, because through transforming and releasing the Sufferings then the actions will naturally follow.
So there is no need to over-analyze as to how one should “behave” or “act” honestly around people. This will be difficult and confusing especially when there is fear driving the experience. In such a scenario one can simply observe the experience as is and try to develop a Still Mind so one can access the deeper mind to discover the Deeper Sufferings brimming from within to develop the Knowing Of The Self.
At The Idea Level
As all forms of Sufferings recede back to Negative Ideas, the Negative Ideas in relation to Honesty can be paraphrased as –
“It is not ok to be Honest”
The Negative Idea can come from branches of other Negative Ideas
“It is not ok to reject/hurt someone”
“It is not ok to be rejected/be hurt”
Thus the theme will often be about Self-Judgement and this can create a great deal of confusion in the mind.
To release the confusion one can access some articles below to gain more insight.
Honesty And Awareness
The development of honesty will be a journey and the progress of that journey can be made in various ways.
How much you can be honest with yourself will depend firstly on how much awareness you have of the world within. I.e. for you to be honest about the desires of your Physical Body, Your Emotional and Mental aspects of yourself one will have to first become aware of them. And it is by developing the deeper awareness of them that you can pbecome aware of your deeper desires, thoughts etc.
Progress can then be made again by trying to accept all parts of ourselves. I.e. it is by accepting the fact that our body is hungering for thirst rather than ignoring it. This will help us to develop better communication with the body. And similarly as we accept our thoughts and emotions then we can become more and more aware of the subtle messages that come through from within.
Then progress can be furthered by the attempt of trying to align them with your actions. I.e. to align the Physical Self with the Mental Self with the Emotional Self. Because it is through the attempt of aligning them that one will encounter difficulties. Do not discouraged to see this as stagnation because rather this is progress because through the attempt of acting who we are it will take us to the cause as why we can’t simply be ourselves.
Great Confusion will often arise when we try to practice honesty when we are in a negative state. I.e. when we experience anger, how do we express that honestly without hurting the other person?
First we have to be honest at the way in which we want to express that anger.
Do we really want to hurt the other person?
Or do we just want to express how we feel?
Realize that there are many ways to express that anger honestly
We can express it through silence i.e. removing ourselves from the situation.
We can express it through words i.e. we can blunt our words or sharpen our words.
Although we can also express it through actions i.e. punching someone in the face, this is not encouraged. It’s best not to create big actions when we experience anger because big actions can create big consequences. Realize also that in times when we experience anger we are also operating from a confused mind that is why often when we do things out of Anger we will find ourselves regretting over what we have done.
Realize again that the focus on the Path is not so much on the Actions but rather the State. Thus no matter which actions that one choose, the focus here is to observe the experience with a Still Mind so one can penetrate deeper into the Knowing.
Having Honest Relationships
In order to escape pain and suffering, we may also lie to ourselves that someone is actually doing something good to us when we know inside that person has actually dome something bad. When we convince ourselves in this way we are being dishonest with ourselves and overtime we can also end up believing in our self-deceit. This habit can create a habit within and make us choose wrong people to be in our lives and end up in unhealthy relationships.
Arguments Can Deepen Relationships
A big fear we can have is that when we are being too honest it can hurt other people and push people away from us. But honesty in fact is what creates healthy relationships and deepens them.
Realize that when you express yourself honestly and other people take it as an offence you are in fact creating an opportunity for people to learn about forgiveness. Thus the more honest you are the more opportunities you are actually giving to the other person to not only accept your opinion, but to accept you for who you are – thus deepening the relationship.
Because when we are always tip-toping around people’s opinions it can block the deepening of relationships – i.e. not showing ourselves clearly to the other person and not giving other people an opportunity to express their Clearer Selves to us.
Of course this deepening of relationships will require the honesty to be expressed through compassion, i.e. through the intention of wanting to express ourselves clearer.
It is also only when you can be honest with yourself that you can attract the “right” friends i.e. people who share your views in life or people who want to truthfully know more about you. It's better to have friends who can Accept you for who you are rather than who you act out to be.
Thus honesty is a great repellent to unhealthy relationships.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Simply become aware of your thoughts, emotions, sensations and see how well they are aligned with your actions. This will allow you to see how honest you are and help you to see the Sufferings - Fears, Negativities driving your dishonesty.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
When we suppress/repress our reactions whenever we feel pain and suffering, we are being dishonest about how we are truly feeling. To be honest with our reactions we simply observe our reactions in every moment without adding or taking it away what we are truly feeling – just simply observe. Doing this will allow it to naturally come and naturally go. And this is exactly what the Creator's Meditation teaches - i.e. to simply observe the physical sensations on the body as is in every moment.
Thus honesty is developed through the practice.
Realize that "observing" is not about “holding” onto whatever physical sensations that you experience in your practice through exaggerating or diminishing it – to do so is to React to the experience. Thus the aim is to simply honestly observe them as is and this can only be done with a Still Mind, and when one does it with a Still Mind then these physical sensations will naturally come and go.
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