When you can accept and love the impossible, all is possible"
Forgiveness is the act of trying to Accept someone who has made you upset / angry.
There will always be a time when we will meet that “special” someone who will always say the wrong things to us, someone who will always do things which offends us and so forth.
In life, it is inevitable that we will meet someone who will be impossible to accept.
And to accept this person as who they are begins with Forgveness.
In practice, forgiveness is about trying our best to let go of our anger when we are in a conflict with this “special” someone. In that moment of experiencing anger, it can be difficult to simply let go of our negativities because our anger can easily convince us to hold onto it tightly until it blows up.
This article looks at the ways we can use forgiveness as a catalyst in transforming the suffering states of mind we can experience in life.
Forgiveness In Depth
When we cannot accept someone for who they are, we will want to change (control) them. For instance, to change their opinions, to change their ways of doing things so that they won’t hurt us again.
Forgiveness at a deeper level is about Accepting people for who they are.
It is about directing unconditional love towards them without expecting them to change.
Although this is not to say to allow them to continue to hurt us. But rather here the focus is in not the “action” i.e. what to do and say to those people who hurt us, but rather here the focus is in addressing the Negativities experienced from within when we meet these people who seem impossible to be around with. And naturally once the negativity within is addressed then one will gain greater clarity in how to deal with these "Impossible Selves" at the external level.
Importance Of Using Forgiveness
It is important to develop the ability to forgive people.
This is because the inability to forgive people is a sign that one has not yet mastered ones emotions – that their emotions have become the master of them.
Also realize that when we are in a state of anger or frustration towards someone, we are in a state of unhappiness.
From the outside, it may seem that we are doing justice by been mean to someone who has just made us angry, but on the inside we are actually inflicting damage onto ourselves as well – because that state of Anger is very damaging to not only to ourselves at the physical level but also at the emotional and mental level.
The state of anger in fact can bring all sorts of negative physical sensations to surface throughout the body i.e. making the blood rushed and the breathing irregular and this can really affect the immune system in a negative way.
At the inner level of the mind the state of anger can also bring great confusion and stimulation which can un-ground The Self and bring everything out of focus.
Holding in anger will also block one from developing the Knowing Of The Self because when we are in anger we will be focused on the ideas on how to inflict damage to the other person who has inflicted damage to us. That desire of hurting someone will only make us look outwards into the cause of our Suffering rather than inwards where it lies the Deeper Cause – the Negative Ideas.
Path Of Creator
Forgiveness In Relation To The Path Of Creator
On the Path of developing greater happiness we have to transform and release our Sufferings.
To do this will always require Stillness. Because it is from the point of Stillness that everything can be seen in clarity and without distortion.
Disturbance is the opposite of Stillness. We can experience disturbance in the Mind whenever we experience Suffering i.e. when we experience impatience, when we experience doubt, when we experience judgement and so forth.
The ability to be Still in those moments of impatience can be said to be Patience.
The ability to be Still in those moments of doubt can be said to be Trust.
And in terms of anger, the ability to be still in the moments of Anger is Forgiveness.
Thus everytime we try to be Still when we experience Suffering is a Catalyst in itself. Because as we try to be Still in those moments we will encounter an Inner Resistance to not be Still. It is then we can question the Cause of the Inner Resistance which will take us to its Deeper Cause.
Thus this article is mainly addressing about how to develop Stillness in the moments we experience Anger. Forgiveness is one of the greatest catalysts which will take one to Develop the Knowing of the Deeper Causes of one’s Anger.
At The Idea Level
Briefly speaking, as one journeys on their Path towards finding the Deeper Causes for their anger, the spiritual lessons that they will go through will always involve the lessons of Self-Acceptance.
The Negative Ideas in relation to Anger in particular will always be Ideas about “How the Self Should Be.”
Here one will accumulate the wisdom that when we reject a part of someone, it is simply a sign that we reject that part of ourselves as well I.e. When we reject someone who does something we perceive as "Selfish" we are simply declaring to ourselves that if we did what that person did we would reject ourselves as well.
The journey thus will be about developing Forgiveness towards others and ourselves.
The journey begins with the understanding that Forgiveness is a State rather than an Action. One can always act forgiving towards someone when they may not truly be in the state on the inside. Realize that the focus of the journey is not about “appearing forgiving” but rather it is about become “accepting” within and then naturally the Act will follow.
Thus it is about developing the “intention” to forgive - or more precisely, the intention to be Still and Accepting when one feels the need to Reject the Other Self or Oneself. This is how Stillness is developed and refined.
This will help greatly with developing the Knowing of The Self because when one forgives within, one is in the attempt to let go off all the negative feelings and thoughts that one is currently experiencing. This can aid the mind in achieving a state of clarity so one can understand just exactly where the anger is really coming from.
The destination of the journey is not so much in becoming a master at forgiveness, but to reach a state of acceptance where there is no more need to forgive because it doesn't bother us anymore.
Explore the articles below to look at ways in which forgiveness can be used to catalyze the transformation of our Sufferings.
Two Way Forgiveness
A catalyst that can be used in the journey is the understanding that forgiveness is most effective when it is directed Two-Ways rather than One way. Because we can never truly forgive someone if we do not forgive ourselves. I.e. if we keep being angry at ourselves for being slow, then we will never be able to truly forgive someone they are slow and vice versa. Realize that there is only One Self in the Deeper Mind, thus always be aware of this when you are experiencing negativities such as anger because when we experience anger we can easily fall into the illusion that the anger is being directed outwards but often when we develop higher awareness we will find that the anger is often being directed towards ourselves.
Using Impossible People As Catalyst
The impossible people that you meet in life are great Catalysts to develop forgiveness and greater Stillness within. Realize that these “special” people that we meet in life are in fact “special” because they help us to bring our deepest darkness into light. Thus if we constantly run away from impossible people in our lives then we are actually missing out on that opportunity to look within ourselves to see why we find these people impossible.
And what we find will surprise us. For instance, we may think our inability to forgive someone is because they are demanding but through trying to accept them for who they are we may find that we are actually not really angry at them but rather angry at ourselves for not having the ability to say No to them.
However, this is not to say that you should surround yourself with people who anger you all the time – as this can bring great confusion and illusion to the mind. The only way to use this Catalyst effectively is to have both the time to go into the confusing scenarios with impossible people at the same time have enough time for oneself to develop Stillness so that the confusion can be pierced through.
Expressing Your Discontent Out Of Forgiveness
Every time someone does something wrong to you, you may find it difficult to forgive them because you may believe that by doing so will make them think that you are alright with it and they will do it a second time again in the future
In this case, you can simply forgive them by accepting them for what they are and express your concerns and your feelings out in the open so that they know that what inconveniences they have caused you. At that moment it can be difficult to express it without anger because of the negativities at play clouding the mind that is why the ability to maintain Stillness and simply Observe the negative reactions is important.
Develop Experienced Knowledge
Whenever you experience anger simply try your best to forgive the other person. And as you do this you will find it impossible in the very beginning but throughout time you will find it easier and easier.
And when you forgive realize that the focus is on the “State” i.e. in the attempt to try to let go of all negative emotions and thoughts to that particular person.
The focus here is on the “State” because our goal is in addressing the State not the Person right in front of us.
Whatever Action one wishes to use to solve the situation at the external level will be up to everyone’s free will to make a choce but realize that we will always be responsible for every action that we make in life.
The Creator's MeditationLink here
No matter what form of suffering or negativity i.e. Anger, Frustration that one experiences from the meditation simply forgive it. How this is done in meditation is to simply observe the body journey with Stillness. By doing this we are learning how to develop stability and not feed any negative energy to sustain our Suffering State.
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